So, in a shock announcement that has left UK consumers reeling, it transpires that if you don’t keep raw poultry in the fridge, and if you don’t cook it properly before you eat it, then it might make you ill. It’s very hard to believe that there’s anybody above the age of 8 years old who didn’t already know this, but apparently it’s a huge surprise to the Food Standards Agency, the major supermarkets, and most mainstream media outlets (at least if the coverage of the story today is anything to go by: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-30227342 ; http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2851740/Warning-contaminated-chickens-70-fresh-supermarket-birds-tainted-campylobacter-food-poisoning-bug.html ; http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/campylobacter-bacteria-affects-70-of-supermarket-chickens-9887701.html ).
Of course, it’s useful to be reminded that simple precautions need to be taken to ensure that your Sunday roast, chicken goujons, or breaded drumsticks don’t become your last meal. But the fuss that’s being made over something that is fixed by making sure you put it in the oven and leave it there until it’s cooked seems totally over the top.
However, just in case you’ve forgotten, here’s a few extra life-saving tips to help make sure that you make it safely through Friday :
1. don’t get out of your car until it’s stopped moving – tuck and roll may be ok for Bruce Willis but it won’t end well for you
2. don’t go searching for gas leaks using a cigarette lighter to illuminate the way – you’ll find the leak all right, but you probably won’t have enough skin on your hands to hold the ‘phone to tell anyone
3. don’t check whether the electricity is on by sticking your finger in the socket – this may come as a shock to you, but it’s not nearly as big as the shock you’ll get if you try it
4. if the sign on the door says “Danger! Do not enter”, that’s an instruction not a challenge
5. if you see Andrew Mitchell coming towards you on his bike, just open the ******* gate!
Stay safe everybody!